Crazy on white, hold the mayo

Dude. Scanner Alien Homophobe McClammyhands flipped out this morning. Unfortunately, I wasn't here to witness it, but I got the 411 from my coworkers.

So have I mentioned that every day he brings a lunch, and every day at precisely 11:15 he goes into the break room, removes his lunch from the fridge, and brings it back to his desk? He then removes all the contents of his thermal lunchbox and puts everything into his desk drawer. Odd, right? Combine that with his plastic Coke bottle full of water which he then empties into the empty aluminum 7Up can, and you have one crazy guy. He might be obsessive compulsive when it comes to food, I'm not sure. The point is, he's rather particular about his lunch, and that's putting it lightly.

So I guess this morning he came in to work and realized he left his lunch at home. And he promptly Flipped. Out. "I forgot my fucking sandwich! What the fuck am I going to do now? I don't have a fucking sandwich! What the fuck am I supposed to eat at lunch? I can't believe I forgot my fucking sandwich!" My friend Gianna was waiting at the door of the big boss's office to talk with him, and she could hear the guy swearing up a storm. And when she went into the boss's office, he had a look on his face like he could hear the tantrum outside as well. Heh. Then, Erin told me he got on the phone, called his mother, and told her "I forgot my fucking sandwich! What the fuck am I supposed to do now?"

Dude. First off? Don't swear at your mom. Secondly? It's a sandwich. You go to Jewel and buy one from the deli case. Or you go to Arby's and buy on there. You don't go crazy. There are other places to get a sandwich.

I'm telling you, the guy's nuts.

Shut up, George W!

Arrrrrrrrgh! Why does this man get to speak? Why does he get to make decisions? WHY? WHY??? I swear, I don't think we could ask for a leader who is more of a jackass. He makes me so freaking angry. Shut up shut up shut up! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

In other news, I'd like to point you all in the direction of Project Vote Smart. It's a handy-dandy little website that tells you about all of your elected officials, how they voted, and where they stand on issues. You can look up every single damn person who's running for President and see what they think or do or vote. It's good stuff.

Sandwich update!

Rather than eating lunch sans sandwich, Scanner Alien Homophobe McClammyhands didn't eat at all. Like, nothing. He didn't eat. He didn't leave the office to go out and get food, because we saw him pass by about three times. The guy would rather not eat at all than eat without his precious sandwich.

Crazy.

Also, did I mention he claims to wash his car every day? Even when it was snowing and cars were covered in road salt, his white Beemer was pristine. He told Jim he takes an hour out of his day every night when he gets home to wash his car and dry it by hand. Cray. Zee.

Seriously, what is wrong with this guy?