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Mar. 8th, 2004
Dear Sir...
Mar. 8th, 2004 01:18 pmAn open letter to the dumbass in line in front of me at Subway:
Dear Dumbass,
From now on, if you have several subs to buy for you and your coworkers, please consider leaving work a few minutes before your lunch hour begins to order all five footlong subs. That way, you will miss the lunchtime rush and not piss anyone off. This is a common rule of courtesy, which I now know you lack completely, but in order to not be beaten to death by other hungry customers, I suggest you consider this for your own physical well being.
If this isn't possible, then please have your entire order written down so that you do not waste time trying to remember what everyone wanted. Because obviously your memory has been replaced by that of a goldfish, as you futzed around trying to recall what's what for nearly ten minutes.
Also, please just order individual six-inch subs instead of footlongs with different ingredients on each half, which you then want all wrapped and bagged separately. Your method of putting cheese and tomatoes on one half, but onions and mustard on the other isn't any quicker than making separate subs. In fact, this takes longer, as it confuses the three people at the Subway working on your order.
It might also be kind of you to increase your volume as well, because when you mumble, the people taking your order can't hear you and then have to ask "What?!?!?" about nine million times.
In the future, please check the sign at the front door that reads "No bills over $20 accepted." Because paying for your $14 meal with $100 is not cool when there are nine people in line behind you. The cashiers cannot break a $100 bill, and this ties everything up even more than when you needed all five subs with separate halves and individual wrappers.
And finally, when the cashier tells you "Never do this to us again," that means you are not welcome back in the store ever. Ever. You have lost your Subway privileges, you shmuck.
Yours in hatred,
eep
Dear Dumbass,
From now on, if you have several subs to buy for you and your coworkers, please consider leaving work a few minutes before your lunch hour begins to order all five footlong subs. That way, you will miss the lunchtime rush and not piss anyone off. This is a common rule of courtesy, which I now know you lack completely, but in order to not be beaten to death by other hungry customers, I suggest you consider this for your own physical well being.
If this isn't possible, then please have your entire order written down so that you do not waste time trying to remember what everyone wanted. Because obviously your memory has been replaced by that of a goldfish, as you futzed around trying to recall what's what for nearly ten minutes.
Also, please just order individual six-inch subs instead of footlongs with different ingredients on each half, which you then want all wrapped and bagged separately. Your method of putting cheese and tomatoes on one half, but onions and mustard on the other isn't any quicker than making separate subs. In fact, this takes longer, as it confuses the three people at the Subway working on your order.
It might also be kind of you to increase your volume as well, because when you mumble, the people taking your order can't hear you and then have to ask "What?!?!?" about nine million times.
In the future, please check the sign at the front door that reads "No bills over $20 accepted." Because paying for your $14 meal with $100 is not cool when there are nine people in line behind you. The cashiers cannot break a $100 bill, and this ties everything up even more than when you needed all five subs with separate halves and individual wrappers.
And finally, when the cashier tells you "Never do this to us again," that means you are not welcome back in the store ever. Ever. You have lost your Subway privileges, you shmuck.
Yours in hatred,
eep
