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Oscar fashion wrap-up
Well, this year wasn't really as hideous as some. I can't think of any one person who stands out with a completely horrible dress or tux. That said, I'm going to troll the IMDb photo files and comment on celeb outfits anyway.
Oh, Nicole, why must you look so washed out and gaunt? And why is your hair styled so blandly? While I know that shoes may sometimes make or break an outfit, wearing a dress that seems cut specifically to draw attention to the feet doesn't win any prizes with me. Sorry, Nic, you're off my list. Especially with those bloodshot eyes. Visine, honey. Visine.
What is there to say about George Clooney, other than that he is The Shit?
Look, second from the left is Dan Futterman, sometimes guest star of the WB non-hit Related! (See how I tie it all together?)
WTF, Charlize, WTF? And where the hell is Stuart Townsend?
It looks like Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman went to the same stylist. Good job, ladies. Blaaaaaaand.
Ryan and Reese do make for a pretty couple, but they always seem a bit ...cold... in person together. Maybe they just want to keep their personal life as private as possible, but it comes off as Ryan just being Reese's bitch.
Maggie Gyllenhaal has POCKETS in her dress? POCKETS? Oh, geez. And why are her boobs so low? She barely has boobs at all, they shouldn't look all saggy.
Wow, that's some necklace on Keira Knightly. I'm not sure if I like it, but I certainly admire her for wearing it. That said, I still say she's this generation's Winona Ryder.
Wait, does Sandra Bullock have pockets, too? Are pockets the new must-have accessory? Or is that Keanu Reeves?
Diane Kruger looks like a layer cake.
I really don't know how I feel about Uma Thurman's dress, but I still think she's gorgeous. And that she was robbed for not even getting a nomination for Kill Bill, Vol. 2.
I'm still not a fan of Jennifer Garner, but I give her credit for still having post-pregnancy boobs (unlike some Hollywood actresses who lose them instantly to look good on camera). And I give her credit for making a joke about almost falling on her ass onstage. Seriously, though, if your dress is so long that you can't walk in it without lifting up inches of fabric, then you need to get the hem shortened.
Did I mention I'm done with Nicole Kidman? Because Rachel Weisz is so my new girlfriend. I called it back at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
xica_s's movie night, where a repeated viewing of The Mummy sealed it for me. The woman's gorgeous. Love her.
I did not like Philip Seymour Hoffman's look at all. Just wanted to get that out.
Salma Hayek is HAWT, yo. HAAAAAWT. The dress is cool, the color is outstanding, and props to her for showing all the long-haired girls how it's done. Fabulous.
Y'all can keep Jake Gyllenhaal or whomever you're crushing on. Me, I like Peter Sarsgaard.
Filliam H. Muffman might be my new favorite Hollywood couple. Seriously.
Naomi Watts had a complete wreck of a dress. The color drained her, and it looked like an angry cat got ahold of the front of her dress. The tight band around her hips doesn't help, either. Bah.
Dude! Check out Cruella DeVille in the background!
Michelle Williams is adorable, but her hair looked a mess and her dress and lipstick clashed. The necklace also clashed, but I love it.
AAAAAH!
Ziyi Zhang is just too beautiful.
AAAAAH!, part two.
Even Helena Bonham Carter seems ashamed of her hair. Maybe she's learned new grooming techniques from her husband. (I still love his movies, and adore his tie, but seriously Tim, the glasses? No.) And OMG, her shoes!
LUDA! I have developed such a crush on him. The glasses just make him adorable.
Hey, the dude from Murderball was there.
Oh, Dolly. I just don't know what to say.
Look, another dress with pockets. What is this trend? And does Amy Adams remind anyone else of a redheaded Faruza Balk sometimes?
Catherine Keener's dress is yuck.
I think Terrence Howard is just the cutest when he's wearing his glasses. And I loved how everyone involved in Crash just went nuts when they won Best Picture. I mean, whether or not you think it should have won, their joy was palpable.
How is it that Ludacris, the guy who rapped about having hos in every area code, seemed classier than Jamie Foxx, Oscar winner?
Who keeps letting Jack Nicholson to these things?
Steve Carell's fake eyelashes KILLED ME.
I am so glad these goofballs won for Wallace & Gromit. That movie was great. And what with their studio burning down, it's good to see them get awarded after losing everything.
Lauren Bacall is so awesome. I wish she hadn't had such problems reading. I really hope it was the teleprompter, and not a Liz Taylor moment.
And finally, once again, I love Jon Stewart.
Oh, Nicole, why must you look so washed out and gaunt? And why is your hair styled so blandly? While I know that shoes may sometimes make or break an outfit, wearing a dress that seems cut specifically to draw attention to the feet doesn't win any prizes with me. Sorry, Nic, you're off my list. Especially with those bloodshot eyes. Visine, honey. Visine.
What is there to say about George Clooney, other than that he is The Shit?
Look, second from the left is Dan Futterman, sometimes guest star of the WB non-hit Related! (See how I tie it all together?)
WTF, Charlize, WTF? And where the hell is Stuart Townsend?
It looks like Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman went to the same stylist. Good job, ladies. Blaaaaaaand.
Ryan and Reese do make for a pretty couple, but they always seem a bit ...cold... in person together. Maybe they just want to keep their personal life as private as possible, but it comes off as Ryan just being Reese's bitch.
Maggie Gyllenhaal has POCKETS in her dress? POCKETS? Oh, geez. And why are her boobs so low? She barely has boobs at all, they shouldn't look all saggy.
Wow, that's some necklace on Keira Knightly. I'm not sure if I like it, but I certainly admire her for wearing it. That said, I still say she's this generation's Winona Ryder.
Wait, does Sandra Bullock have pockets, too? Are pockets the new must-have accessory? Or is that Keanu Reeves?
Diane Kruger looks like a layer cake.
I really don't know how I feel about Uma Thurman's dress, but I still think she's gorgeous. And that she was robbed for not even getting a nomination for Kill Bill, Vol. 2.
I'm still not a fan of Jennifer Garner, but I give her credit for still having post-pregnancy boobs (unlike some Hollywood actresses who lose them instantly to look good on camera). And I give her credit for making a joke about almost falling on her ass onstage. Seriously, though, if your dress is so long that you can't walk in it without lifting up inches of fabric, then you need to get the hem shortened.
Did I mention I'm done with Nicole Kidman? Because Rachel Weisz is so my new girlfriend. I called it back at
xica_s's movie night, where a repeated viewing of The Mummy sealed it for me. The woman's gorgeous. Love her.I did not like Philip Seymour Hoffman's look at all. Just wanted to get that out.
Salma Hayek is HAWT, yo. HAAAAAWT. The dress is cool, the color is outstanding, and props to her for showing all the long-haired girls how it's done. Fabulous.
Y'all can keep Jake Gyllenhaal or whomever you're crushing on. Me, I like Peter Sarsgaard.
Filliam H. Muffman might be my new favorite Hollywood couple. Seriously.
Naomi Watts had a complete wreck of a dress. The color drained her, and it looked like an angry cat got ahold of the front of her dress. The tight band around her hips doesn't help, either. Bah.
Dude! Check out Cruella DeVille in the background!
Michelle Williams is adorable, but her hair looked a mess and her dress and lipstick clashed. The necklace also clashed, but I love it.
AAAAAH!
Ziyi Zhang is just too beautiful.
AAAAAH!, part two.
Even Helena Bonham Carter seems ashamed of her hair. Maybe she's learned new grooming techniques from her husband. (I still love his movies, and adore his tie, but seriously Tim, the glasses? No.) And OMG, her shoes!
LUDA! I have developed such a crush on him. The glasses just make him adorable.
Hey, the dude from Murderball was there.
Oh, Dolly. I just don't know what to say.
Look, another dress with pockets. What is this trend? And does Amy Adams remind anyone else of a redheaded Faruza Balk sometimes?
Catherine Keener's dress is yuck.
I think Terrence Howard is just the cutest when he's wearing his glasses. And I loved how everyone involved in Crash just went nuts when they won Best Picture. I mean, whether or not you think it should have won, their joy was palpable.
How is it that Ludacris, the guy who rapped about having hos in every area code, seemed classier than Jamie Foxx, Oscar winner?
Who keeps letting Jack Nicholson to these things?
Steve Carell's fake eyelashes KILLED ME.
I am so glad these goofballs won for Wallace & Gromit. That movie was great. And what with their studio burning down, it's good to see them get awarded after losing everything.
Lauren Bacall is so awesome. I wish she hadn't had such problems reading. I really hope it was the teleprompter, and not a Liz Taylor moment.
And finally, once again, I love Jon Stewart.
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Charlize. The big bow was a mistake.
Maggie Gyllenhaal. I know that many a fangirl loves her, but she so frequently brings the fug to any event.
Keira. Pretty necklace, a bit too heavy with the eyeliner.
Keanu. Glad he shaved for this event. Nice to see him there.
Rachel Weisz. Lovely maternity outfit. So flattering.
Salma Hayek. Always so beautiful.
Naomi Watts. Horrible dress color.
Michelle Williams. Looks like a little girl playing dress up.
Lauren Hutton. AHHHH, is right.
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Terrance Howard is adorable with glasses but why did he have a fucking sparkly BROOCH on his tux.
Uma's dress w9uld have been perfect if not for the fucked up U thing on the bodice. It was so v. baffling. I also think Salma Hayek's dress bodice also jacked her up. It gave her lopsided boobage, which is just not right. NOT RIGHT. Same thing with Zhi Yang. Beautiful dress ruined by bodice confusion. If there hadn't been a division on top it would ahve been perfect.
Also, Ryan as Reese's bitch really works for me. I"m just saying.
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Yes. According to W, Vogue, and InStyle, pockets are the in thing in evening wear now. No, I'm not kidding.
Also, before I get into this, I have to tell you how much I enjoy your fashion recaps of wards shows. Oh so very much.
Wasn't Rachel the hawt!? I squeed when I saw her. Pregnancy boobs were in effect and it was a definite upgrade from her GG dress which was the Fug.
Ludacris was preserving his sexy in a major way last night as well. I couldn't help but going to a special place everytime they showed him. YUM.
Terrance Howard (who thank god has stopped channeling Duke Ellington with his conked hair) and his son both had on man brooch's. That is not a trend that needs to become popular. I don't mind the big bricks of ear bling, and rings and whatnot. But a man brooch is a definite no-no.
I thought Michelle looked better once she was inside. I liked her outfit on the red carpet, but it wasn't as jarring indoors. I thought she looked great.
I can't look at Amy Adams without seeing her sucking the fat out of people on Smallville. I bet that gets left off the resume these days.
I would like to claim Salma Hayek as my Oscar girlfriend. She was just so sexy in that purple dress. I loved everything about it...even if it did kinda squeeze her left boob into sections.
Loved the bottom of Ziyi Zhang's dress. She is another naturally beautiful one.
Good to see Santino Rice is getting work. He obviously designed Naomi att's dress, right?
Seriously, I'd swtich teams for Salma.
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Holy shit! THAT'S where I knew her from!!! The light dawns. Snigger.
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BTW, from far away I thought Michelle Williams looked great. It was only close up that the look became a mess. Funny how that works.
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(Anonymous) 2006-03-06 06:52 pm (UTC)(link)Bacall: Some people with past TelePrompTer experience have chimed in and noted that if you stumble, it's very hard to catch up again, and then the operator tries to set it back somewhere, and it rarely goes well. That said, I don't feel too bad for her because she apparently was a biznitch her entire career. --Greg
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George is SOOOOOOOOO the shit.