Oscar fashion wrap-up
Feb. 25th, 2008 11:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eee1313There's not a lot going on at my office today, and so I'm going to talk about Oscar fashions.
There's no rhyme or reason to these photos, so just bear with me.
I'm not really sure how I feel about Marion Cotillard's mermaid dress here. It's Jean-Paul Gaultier, whom I love because he makes crazy things and did the costumes for The Fifth Element. But it also looks like fish scales. But Marion's just so adorable that she pulls this off. At the same time, it does weird things to her boobs. Finally, what's up with that green wrapping paper-like dress behind her?
Penelope Cruz's dress has great lines and all, and it looks kind of Victorian-ish with the train in the back and the fabric draping across the front. But the feathers or fur or whatever trim just isn't working for me. And from this angle the dress makes her look oddly shaped.
Oh, Nicole, you look great again! The Nicole love may be coming back, y'all. Consider yourselves warned.
George Clooney is one of those men who could wear a tux to the grocery store and it would be totally appropriate. No one alive today can rock a tux like George. Alas, his date's dress isn't very attractive. It's okay from the waist up, a bit bland, but those weird tiers on the skirt are confusing me.
While I think Jessica Alba's dress is fabulous, can someone remind me again why she's at the Oscars? I know she presented thegeek technical awards, but why her? And do they always have a hot young actress do the geek technical awards so that people will maybe pay attention?
I don't really like the shoulder-ring on Katherine Heigl's dress, and she's still bugging me whenever she opens her mouth. But I have to say otherwise it's a great look. The dress is stunning (sans shoulder-ring), and I think she has the best hair of the night.
Miley Cyrus is dressed completely age-appropriate. Good job, kid.
I thought Anne Hathaway looked stunning. That said, three red dresses in a row. What's that about?
Cate Blanchet at least mixed it up with a purple dress. I didn't really like the weird scarf-like neck halter, but the lady's hugely pregnant, so who cares? She's still pretty.
Another red dress, but at least Heidi Klum's was for the women's heart disease red dress awareness charity thing. And admit it, no one else could have pulled this dress off. It's crazy, but I like it.
Daniel Day-Lewis didn't show up looking like an insane lumberjack clown at a rodeo, so credit where it's due. That said, the brown piping on a black tux? And he paired it with what appear to be brown suede cowboy boots. Of course, that's not the worst thing in that picture by far. His wife appears to be wearing zebra-striped shoes under that hideous gown. What's with the red ribbon sleeves? And the horrible costume jewelry brooches? And the lacy overskirt that pulls oddly at her midsection... Terrible. I think this may be the worst outfit of the evening.
Okay, let's look at the pros of Ellen Page's outfit. It's not slutty by any means, and Lord knows we've had our share of slutty starlets in the past year. So it's nice she's not decked out like a whore or something. Also, black is always flattering. Third, the necklace—while understated—works well with the dress. Unfortunately, the dress is BORING AS ALL GET-OUT. And I'm really tired of Ellen's sloppy ponytail with big tendrils look. Do something else with your hair already.
I hate the bottom of Jennifer Garner's dress, but otherwise she looks great. Great body, great dress (till you hit her knees), great hair, GREAT jewelry, great understated makeup. It looks like even Daniel Day-Lewis is back there thinking "Damn, I wish my wife looked that good."
Laura Linney looks fabulous, as always. Very minimal, but completely effective, much like her acting.
Diablo Cody. What to say? She's KOOKY, donchaknow? I want to like her (she sometimes makes me laugh in her EW articles, but then it seems like she has an EW article just because she's KOOKY and a WOMAN), but I kind of hate the way she's been forced upon us. And it makes me not like her outfit, which isn't really fair. It's not the worst thing we saw last night, and it suits her. But I did notice after she got her award that the slit in the side is WAY too high, and she had to hold the skirt down with one hand to keep the dress from blowing sideways and exposing her cooch to the world. Safety pin that down, or just choose a different dress already. Bad form.
Who the hell is Olivia Thrilby, and is she wearing purple shoes under that dress?
I don't care what Johnny Depp wears, or if he's combed his hair. He's still awesome.
Tilda Swinton, you so crazy! I hate the dress like you wouldn't believe, but since it's Tilda I think I kind of like it. Because Tilda doesn't buy into Hollywood's definition of beauty! She won't wear makeup, not even for the Oscars! Tilda sticks to her guns, dammit!
Julie Christie looks lovely here. Then you pan back and see the whole thing. I don't know what's the worst part of this outfit: the dress length, the arm-length gloves, or the terrible shoes.
Casey Affleck looks very handsome, and his wife Summer Phoenix (sister of River and Joaquin, not "guest") looks fabulous seeing as how she gave birth last week. Or maybe it was two weeks ago. Either way, fabulous.
Oh, Amy Adams, THAT is how you wear a green dress with red hair. GORGEOUS.
I love Renee Zellweger's dress. That is some major Hollywood glitz and glamour right there. Is it too much? Possibly. But seeing as how so many people went understated, I like this glittery, slinky gown. The girl still needs to eat more and grow out that awful haircut, though. And yes, this is a picture of her "smiling."
Cameron Diaz needs color. In her dress, on her face, wherever. Color.
Viggo is quite possibly crazy. I hope that beard is for a role. And I don't really like the tux with tails. But at the same time, I kind of look at him, laugh, and think "Oh, Viggo." He's kind of like the male Tilda Swinton: he can wear anything and I'll give him a pass just because he's Viggo. That said, I love the single red rose boutineer. No one does boutineers any more.
Hellooooooo, Javier Bardem! Sure, the tux buttons too high and makes him look like boxy. Just focus on the head, people. His ruggedly handsome looks negate the bad tux, and he comes out even in the end.
No doubt about it, Diane Lane is gorgeous. She and Josh Brolin were the best-looking couple in the room, hands down.
I've been a big fan of Julian Schnabel ever since I wrote a paper on him for college. He admitted to doing crappy art to fool the NYC critics into thinking it was good and making a quick buck for himself. I admired that honesty. I also admire that he didn't wear his jammies. Go, Julian!
Saoirse Ronan had a nicely modest dress for her age, and it was great to see a bright color out there. It's a bit lacy nightgown-ish, but she's a kid, so she gets a pass.
Amy Ryan brings some color that wasn't red, and looked very understated and elegant. Alas, it almost borders on boring and forgettable. And what's with all the one-shouldered gowns this year?
I know a lot of people hate on Hillary Swank, but I think she looked lovely. Absolutely lovely.
Way to smile for the cameras, Forest Whitaker.
How come Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill are almost exactly the same person, but yet Seth looks great and Jonah looks like a dumpy blob?
This is an odd trio. I guess if I'm giving credit to the ladies for wearing color, then I should give credit to Wesley Snipes for his purple tux. But then, he's not Prince, so this doesn't really work.
Keri Russel looked great, but in this full shot she looks terrible. She's got hunchy shoulders that just remind me of this. Also, the color (or lack thereof) washes her out.
Helen Mirren is the classiest woman in the room.
Oh, honey, NO. Granted, it's an improvement over last year, but that dress does TERRIBLE things to her cleavage. Damn.
Second-best couple in the room right here. I love them.
How old is Paul Dano, anyway? If it weren't for the fact that he's so tall, I'd think he was 15 or something.
Way to shave, Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Same goes for you, Colin Farrell. But your whole shtick is looking sexy and unkempt, and you brought your mom, so I'll let this one slide.
The Rock looks great in a tux. And I will readily admit that Kelly Preston looks pretty here as well. Great hair, great hair color, nice jewelry, great dress and dress color. John Travolta, I just can't deal with him at all. Bah.
Is it weird that Harrison Ford kind of gives me the creeps now? Calista Flockhart's dress is nice, though.
Alan Arkin's date (wife?) could learn a thing or two about dressing age-appropriately from Helen Mirren. Then again, I think everyone could take fashion tips from Helen.
This picture is proof that Hal Holbrook is a pimp. (Yeah, yeah, I know at least one of those women is probably his daughter with Dixie Carter, and therefore that comment is gross. But I like the idea of Hal being a pimp.)
Why is Lisa Rinna there?
Unpopular opinion alert: I'm sorry, I just don't like Kristen Chenowith. I don't like her singing voice, I don't like the way she sang the song from Enchanted last night, I don't like her pumpkin head, I don't like her dress. I just don't like her.
How on earth did he get invited? Granted, he looks nice, but... Huh?
John Singleton looks very dapper. Good tux there, John.
What's with the huge tie, huge lapels, and huge stitching on the huge lapels on Josh Lucas's tux? Blech!
Awwww, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova were too cute. I never saw Once but always wanted to, and after seeing Glen play live twice (once with the Commitments and once with the Frames [with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
spicedrum and tenar]), I had to root for them. I'm so glad they won.
Look, Forest can smile! I take back my previous comment. Also, his wife's dress is funky. I like it.
Holy hip-wings, Batman!
Who the hell is this? This dress is blingy in all the ways I don't like.
Does Jane Russel have a Logan's Run crystal in her palm? I think her time for Carosel has long since passed... Oooof. Helen Mirren, help!
I should probably know who Anne Jeffreys is, but all I know is that right now she hurts my eyes.
I love Melora Hardin, but she just never seems to get it right.
Faye Dunaway looks fabulous. So does her date.
Things that this picture make me think: 1) Sissy Spacek is either tiny or Jack Fisk is a giant, 2) I'm guessing Sissy likes riding horses, because her jacket looks rather equestrian, and 3) haven't we seen her in a shirt-y outfit like this before?
Donnie Osmond?!?!?
I think Mickey Rooney would be a great drinking buddy. But then, I also think he'd be the type who'd be fun, and then would turn mean at the drop of a hat.
Ruby Dee looked very classy.
Daaaaaaaaaamn, Quincy Jones's guest! Got enough sideboob and sternum there for everybody?
And finally, I can't find a picture of it (yet), but I think the worst men's outfit of the evening has to be Ryan Seacrest's awful brown on brown on black tux. BLEEEEECH!!!
There's no rhyme or reason to these photos, so just bear with me.
I'm not really sure how I feel about Marion Cotillard's mermaid dress here. It's Jean-Paul Gaultier, whom I love because he makes crazy things and did the costumes for The Fifth Element. But it also looks like fish scales. But Marion's just so adorable that she pulls this off. At the same time, it does weird things to her boobs. Finally, what's up with that green wrapping paper-like dress behind her?
Penelope Cruz's dress has great lines and all, and it looks kind of Victorian-ish with the train in the back and the fabric draping across the front. But the feathers or fur or whatever trim just isn't working for me. And from this angle the dress makes her look oddly shaped.
Oh, Nicole, you look great again! The Nicole love may be coming back, y'all. Consider yourselves warned.
George Clooney is one of those men who could wear a tux to the grocery store and it would be totally appropriate. No one alive today can rock a tux like George. Alas, his date's dress isn't very attractive. It's okay from the waist up, a bit bland, but those weird tiers on the skirt are confusing me.
While I think Jessica Alba's dress is fabulous, can someone remind me again why she's at the Oscars? I know she presented the
I don't really like the shoulder-ring on Katherine Heigl's dress, and she's still bugging me whenever she opens her mouth. But I have to say otherwise it's a great look. The dress is stunning (sans shoulder-ring), and I think she has the best hair of the night.
Miley Cyrus is dressed completely age-appropriate. Good job, kid.
I thought Anne Hathaway looked stunning. That said, three red dresses in a row. What's that about?
Cate Blanchet at least mixed it up with a purple dress. I didn't really like the weird scarf-like neck halter, but the lady's hugely pregnant, so who cares? She's still pretty.
Another red dress, but at least Heidi Klum's was for the women's heart disease red dress awareness charity thing. And admit it, no one else could have pulled this dress off. It's crazy, but I like it.
Daniel Day-Lewis didn't show up looking like an insane lumberjack clown at a rodeo, so credit where it's due. That said, the brown piping on a black tux? And he paired it with what appear to be brown suede cowboy boots. Of course, that's not the worst thing in that picture by far. His wife appears to be wearing zebra-striped shoes under that hideous gown. What's with the red ribbon sleeves? And the horrible costume jewelry brooches? And the lacy overskirt that pulls oddly at her midsection... Terrible. I think this may be the worst outfit of the evening.
Okay, let's look at the pros of Ellen Page's outfit. It's not slutty by any means, and Lord knows we've had our share of slutty starlets in the past year. So it's nice she's not decked out like a whore or something. Also, black is always flattering. Third, the necklace—while understated—works well with the dress. Unfortunately, the dress is BORING AS ALL GET-OUT. And I'm really tired of Ellen's sloppy ponytail with big tendrils look. Do something else with your hair already.
I hate the bottom of Jennifer Garner's dress, but otherwise she looks great. Great body, great dress (till you hit her knees), great hair, GREAT jewelry, great understated makeup. It looks like even Daniel Day-Lewis is back there thinking "Damn, I wish my wife looked that good."
Laura Linney looks fabulous, as always. Very minimal, but completely effective, much like her acting.
Diablo Cody. What to say? She's KOOKY, donchaknow? I want to like her (she sometimes makes me laugh in her EW articles, but then it seems like she has an EW article just because she's KOOKY and a WOMAN), but I kind of hate the way she's been forced upon us. And it makes me not like her outfit, which isn't really fair. It's not the worst thing we saw last night, and it suits her. But I did notice after she got her award that the slit in the side is WAY too high, and she had to hold the skirt down with one hand to keep the dress from blowing sideways and exposing her cooch to the world. Safety pin that down, or just choose a different dress already. Bad form.
Who the hell is Olivia Thrilby, and is she wearing purple shoes under that dress?
I don't care what Johnny Depp wears, or if he's combed his hair. He's still awesome.
Tilda Swinton, you so crazy! I hate the dress like you wouldn't believe, but since it's Tilda I think I kind of like it. Because Tilda doesn't buy into Hollywood's definition of beauty! She won't wear makeup, not even for the Oscars! Tilda sticks to her guns, dammit!
Julie Christie looks lovely here. Then you pan back and see the whole thing. I don't know what's the worst part of this outfit: the dress length, the arm-length gloves, or the terrible shoes.
Casey Affleck looks very handsome, and his wife Summer Phoenix (sister of River and Joaquin, not "guest") looks fabulous seeing as how she gave birth last week. Or maybe it was two weeks ago. Either way, fabulous.
Oh, Amy Adams, THAT is how you wear a green dress with red hair. GORGEOUS.
I love Renee Zellweger's dress. That is some major Hollywood glitz and glamour right there. Is it too much? Possibly. But seeing as how so many people went understated, I like this glittery, slinky gown. The girl still needs to eat more and grow out that awful haircut, though. And yes, this is a picture of her "smiling."
Cameron Diaz needs color. In her dress, on her face, wherever. Color.
Viggo is quite possibly crazy. I hope that beard is for a role. And I don't really like the tux with tails. But at the same time, I kind of look at him, laugh, and think "Oh, Viggo." He's kind of like the male Tilda Swinton: he can wear anything and I'll give him a pass just because he's Viggo. That said, I love the single red rose boutineer. No one does boutineers any more.
Hellooooooo, Javier Bardem! Sure, the tux buttons too high and makes him look like boxy. Just focus on the head, people. His ruggedly handsome looks negate the bad tux, and he comes out even in the end.
No doubt about it, Diane Lane is gorgeous. She and Josh Brolin were the best-looking couple in the room, hands down.
I've been a big fan of Julian Schnabel ever since I wrote a paper on him for college. He admitted to doing crappy art to fool the NYC critics into thinking it was good and making a quick buck for himself. I admired that honesty. I also admire that he didn't wear his jammies. Go, Julian!
Saoirse Ronan had a nicely modest dress for her age, and it was great to see a bright color out there. It's a bit lacy nightgown-ish, but she's a kid, so she gets a pass.
Amy Ryan brings some color that wasn't red, and looked very understated and elegant. Alas, it almost borders on boring and forgettable. And what's with all the one-shouldered gowns this year?
I know a lot of people hate on Hillary Swank, but I think she looked lovely. Absolutely lovely.
Way to smile for the cameras, Forest Whitaker.
How come Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill are almost exactly the same person, but yet Seth looks great and Jonah looks like a dumpy blob?
This is an odd trio. I guess if I'm giving credit to the ladies for wearing color, then I should give credit to Wesley Snipes for his purple tux. But then, he's not Prince, so this doesn't really work.
Keri Russel looked great, but in this full shot she looks terrible. She's got hunchy shoulders that just remind me of this. Also, the color (or lack thereof) washes her out.
Helen Mirren is the classiest woman in the room.
Oh, honey, NO. Granted, it's an improvement over last year, but that dress does TERRIBLE things to her cleavage. Damn.
Second-best couple in the room right here. I love them.
How old is Paul Dano, anyway? If it weren't for the fact that he's so tall, I'd think he was 15 or something.
Way to shave, Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Same goes for you, Colin Farrell. But your whole shtick is looking sexy and unkempt, and you brought your mom, so I'll let this one slide.
The Rock looks great in a tux. And I will readily admit that Kelly Preston looks pretty here as well. Great hair, great hair color, nice jewelry, great dress and dress color. John Travolta, I just can't deal with him at all. Bah.
Is it weird that Harrison Ford kind of gives me the creeps now? Calista Flockhart's dress is nice, though.
Alan Arkin's date (wife?) could learn a thing or two about dressing age-appropriately from Helen Mirren. Then again, I think everyone could take fashion tips from Helen.
This picture is proof that Hal Holbrook is a pimp. (Yeah, yeah, I know at least one of those women is probably his daughter with Dixie Carter, and therefore that comment is gross. But I like the idea of Hal being a pimp.)
Why is Lisa Rinna there?
Unpopular opinion alert: I'm sorry, I just don't like Kristen Chenowith. I don't like her singing voice, I don't like the way she sang the song from Enchanted last night, I don't like her pumpkin head, I don't like her dress. I just don't like her.
How on earth did he get invited? Granted, he looks nice, but... Huh?
John Singleton looks very dapper. Good tux there, John.
What's with the huge tie, huge lapels, and huge stitching on the huge lapels on Josh Lucas's tux? Blech!
Awwww, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova were too cute. I never saw Once but always wanted to, and after seeing Glen play live twice (once with the Commitments and once with the Frames [with
spicedrum and tenar]), I had to root for them. I'm so glad they won.Look, Forest can smile! I take back my previous comment. Also, his wife's dress is funky. I like it.
Holy hip-wings, Batman!
Who the hell is this? This dress is blingy in all the ways I don't like.
Does Jane Russel have a Logan's Run crystal in her palm? I think her time for Carosel has long since passed... Oooof. Helen Mirren, help!
I should probably know who Anne Jeffreys is, but all I know is that right now she hurts my eyes.
I love Melora Hardin, but she just never seems to get it right.
Faye Dunaway looks fabulous. So does her date.
Things that this picture make me think: 1) Sissy Spacek is either tiny or Jack Fisk is a giant, 2) I'm guessing Sissy likes riding horses, because her jacket looks rather equestrian, and 3) haven't we seen her in a shirt-y outfit like this before?
Donnie Osmond?!?!?
I think Mickey Rooney would be a great drinking buddy. But then, I also think he'd be the type who'd be fun, and then would turn mean at the drop of a hat.
Ruby Dee looked very classy.
Daaaaaaaaaamn, Quincy Jones's guest! Got enough sideboob and sternum there for everybody?
And finally, I can't find a picture of it (yet), but I think the worst men's outfit of the evening has to be Ryan Seacrest's awful brown on brown on black tux. BLEEEEECH!!!
