Miss Universe
Aug. 23rd, 2009 10:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eee1313Tonight, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
yakgirl and I watched the Miss Universe pageant together over the phone. Of course, her husband was in the background making smart-ass comments, too. All three of us were simultaneously appalled and amused by the "national costume" bit at the beginning of the show. Some of these were so hilariously awful that I have to share with you.
Let's do this alphabetically.
Albania
She's like a scary Bond villainess with a fetish for gryphons.
Australia
What does this have to do with Australia? Is her hat an homage to flamingoes?
The Bahamas
This is a whole lot of costume, but it's kind of awesome.
Belgium
yakgirl said this is like something you'd see in a porno version of My Fair Lady.
Boliva
Daaaaamn, that's a lot of hat!
Canada
I pose this question to all of my Canadian friends: What the HELL does this outfit have to do with Canada? Are there a lot of strippers up there?
China
Wow.
Curacao
It seems like when they're not sure what to do for a costume, they just add wings and paint shit on them.
The Dominican Republic
yakgirl loves this one because she has chains, but then she BREAKS FREE! Then, yakgirl swears she took out an ax from somewhere. I wish I had noticed that part.
Ecuador
She has a fruit basket, and a face on her skirt. What more could you wish for?
El Salvador
This costume isn't all that exciting, except it reminds me of the She-Ra character called Peek-a-Blue.
France
She's kicky!
Georgia
I'm kind of in love with her feather and/or fur hat and cape.
Germany
This is the one that KILLED US. She's the Brandenburg Gate! OMG. Even Miss Germany looks embarrassed by this.
Great Britian
So many cliches, so little time.
Guyana
I think this outfit is actually kind of cool, save for the flowers as kneepads.
Ireland
My sister dubbed this one "Erin Go Braless."
Italy
I am only including this picture because OMG what is she doing???
Mauritius
I don't even know where to begin here. Is it a country of nudists living in jungles? Is this what Poison Ivy would wear to a fancy dress ball? What's with the parasol? I don't understand!
The Netherlands
She's a freaking WINDMILL, people!
New Zealand
Seriously, is she supposed to be a kiwi? No, really, is she?
Nicaragua
So much is happening here! The giant hat! The faces on the dress! The cross on the bodice! The feathers!
Panama
Her boobs have eyes!
Peru
If you can manage to tear your eyes away from her headpiece, you'll notice her awesome/scary boots, as well as the fact she's carrying a whip. Why does she have a whip? WHY???
Puerto Rico
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!"
Russia
If Walt Disney World's "It's a Small World" ride ever decided it needed a majorette as a new mascot, this would be it.
Switzerland
I know, you're thinking "Why is she including this almost tasteful ensemble here?" The reason why, my friends, is because I've been to Switzerland, and I have NO IDEA what this dress has to do with that country. Any ideas?
Turks & Caicos
Again, subscribing to the theory that if you have no idea what to do, just give your dress wings and paint shit all over them.
And finally... USA
We are, apparantly, a country of NASCAR loving redneck hoochies who can't keep their boobs in their shirts. Great.
Also fun about the show: The final five questions. Here's a quick summation.
"Justin Timberlake says fame is hard. Why do YOU want to be famous?"
"Some countries are mean and don't let ladies wear swimsuits. Do you agree?"
"Is it hard being so pretty?"
"Sometimes it's hard for ladies to get ahead in business. Do you agree?"
"HIV is spreading across the world, despite efforts to contain it. Some people think that mandatory testing for HIV should be implemented as a way to locate people who might inadvertently spread this virus. Do you agree or disagree with mandatory testing, and why?"
Hmmm, seems like one of the judges didn't get the memo about lobbing softball questions at the girls. (For the record, most of them didn't actually give an answer, save for Miss Venezuela who said she doesn't believe gender inequality still exists in the business. I never knew Venezuela was so progressive as to have wiped out sexism in the workforce.)
In the end, Miss Venezuela won. She was jumping up and down so much that when Miss Universe 2008 (also from Venezuela) put the crown on her, it fell off. I laughed like a loon at that. Seriously, watch for it on YouTube.
yakgirl and I watched the Miss Universe pageant together over the phone. Of course, her husband was in the background making smart-ass comments, too. All three of us were simultaneously appalled and amused by the "national costume" bit at the beginning of the show. Some of these were so hilariously awful that I have to share with you.Let's do this alphabetically.
Albania
She's like a scary Bond villainess with a fetish for gryphons.
Australia
What does this have to do with Australia? Is her hat an homage to flamingoes?
The Bahamas
This is a whole lot of costume, but it's kind of awesome.
Belgium
yakgirl said this is like something you'd see in a porno version of My Fair Lady.Boliva
Daaaaamn, that's a lot of hat!
Canada
I pose this question to all of my Canadian friends: What the HELL does this outfit have to do with Canada? Are there a lot of strippers up there?
China
Wow.
Curacao
It seems like when they're not sure what to do for a costume, they just add wings and paint shit on them.
The Dominican Republic
yakgirl loves this one because she has chains, but then she BREAKS FREE! Then, yakgirl swears she took out an ax from somewhere. I wish I had noticed that part.Ecuador
She has a fruit basket, and a face on her skirt. What more could you wish for?
El Salvador
This costume isn't all that exciting, except it reminds me of the She-Ra character called Peek-a-Blue.
France
She's kicky!
Georgia
I'm kind of in love with her feather and/or fur hat and cape.
Germany
This is the one that KILLED US. She's the Brandenburg Gate! OMG. Even Miss Germany looks embarrassed by this.
Great Britian
So many cliches, so little time.
Guyana
I think this outfit is actually kind of cool, save for the flowers as kneepads.
Ireland
My sister dubbed this one "Erin Go Braless."
Italy
I am only including this picture because OMG what is she doing???
Mauritius
I don't even know where to begin here. Is it a country of nudists living in jungles? Is this what Poison Ivy would wear to a fancy dress ball? What's with the parasol? I don't understand!
The Netherlands
She's a freaking WINDMILL, people!
New Zealand
Seriously, is she supposed to be a kiwi? No, really, is she?
Nicaragua
So much is happening here! The giant hat! The faces on the dress! The cross on the bodice! The feathers!
Panama
Her boobs have eyes!
Peru
If you can manage to tear your eyes away from her headpiece, you'll notice her awesome/scary boots, as well as the fact she's carrying a whip. Why does she have a whip? WHY???
Puerto Rico
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!"
Russia
If Walt Disney World's "It's a Small World" ride ever decided it needed a majorette as a new mascot, this would be it.
Switzerland
I know, you're thinking "Why is she including this almost tasteful ensemble here?" The reason why, my friends, is because I've been to Switzerland, and I have NO IDEA what this dress has to do with that country. Any ideas?
Turks & Caicos
Again, subscribing to the theory that if you have no idea what to do, just give your dress wings and paint shit all over them.
And finally... USA
We are, apparantly, a country of NASCAR loving redneck hoochies who can't keep their boobs in their shirts. Great.
Also fun about the show: The final five questions. Here's a quick summation.
"Justin Timberlake says fame is hard. Why do YOU want to be famous?"
"Some countries are mean and don't let ladies wear swimsuits. Do you agree?"
"Is it hard being so pretty?"
"Sometimes it's hard for ladies to get ahead in business. Do you agree?"
"HIV is spreading across the world, despite efforts to contain it. Some people think that mandatory testing for HIV should be implemented as a way to locate people who might inadvertently spread this virus. Do you agree or disagree with mandatory testing, and why?"
Hmmm, seems like one of the judges didn't get the memo about lobbing softball questions at the girls. (For the record, most of them didn't actually give an answer, save for Miss Venezuela who said she doesn't believe gender inequality still exists in the business. I never knew Venezuela was so progressive as to have wiped out sexism in the workforce.)
In the end, Miss Venezuela won. She was jumping up and down so much that when Miss Universe 2008 (also from Venezuela) put the crown on her, it fell off. I laughed like a loon at that. Seriously, watch for it on YouTube.
