Golden Globes fashion recap
Jan. 18th, 2010 02:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eee1313I did not watch the Golden Globes this year. I kind of didn't care, honestly. And the win for Avatard makes me care even less. You all know how I feel about that movie. (Aside: Ebert replied to my complaint by saying "It's not what its about, it's how it's about it." I say that's bullshit, because then movies like Starship Troopers and Battlefield Earth would ALSO be critical favorites. Bullshit, Ebert. Bullshit.)
Anyway, I did not watch the Globes, so I have no idea what anyone wore. Some outfits may have looked better or worse in motion, I don't know. I'm basing my opinions on the still photos, so there you are.
Can Rose Byrne never look pleased to be anywhere? She's such a downer. Does it hurt to smile, EVER? She always looks so sour, which is a shame because other than her face she looks pretty.
Lauren Graham's dress is very pink, but I'm okay with that. What bothers me more is that no one fixed her earring.
Lisa Edelstein's dress is boobalicious. It's okay, though, except I don't like the blue daisy thing in the middle.
Who is Perrey Reeves, and why did she think this dress was appropriate for the Golden Globes?
Wow, that's a whole lot of dress on Lea Michelle.
Not sure how I feel about Jayma Mays's dress.
Okay, maybe I just don't know tuxedo etiquette, but if Sam Trammel is wearing a tux with a bow tie, shouldn't he have a cummerbund? This looks sloppy.
I don't know who Sarah Hyland is, either, but her dress is boresville. And it almost matches the carpet, which is usually a no-no.
I'm really not up with things, because I don't know who Sophia Vergara is. However, I love her dress.
Lookin' dapper, Chuck. ETA: Whoa! Lay off the fake tan and/or matte foundation, Zack!
Holy moly, that's an unattractive dress on that random lady.
I don't know how I feel about Maggie Gyllenhaal's dress. It's Maggie, though, so I'm just glad she's not wearing a shredded burlap sack.
Oh, Eva La Rue, no.
Julie Bowen is like if Gwynneth Paltrow and Elizabeth Banks were smooshed into one person.
Lara Spencer not only knows how to accessorize, she carries her own umbrella.
I do not like Jillian Michael's outfit. I don't know why, but I don't. ETA: Yes, I do. It looks like wrapping paper we used this past Christmas.
Hello, gorgeous.
Jennifer Morrison has frilly boobies. On further inspection, her dress reminds me of Big Bird if his feathers faded.
Kristen Bell is looking good. I am allowed to withhold judgement till I see the length, though. She's often stumpy.
Is Julianne Moore pregnant, or is that just her dress?
What does Tarantino have on his chest? Is that a turquoise watch chain?
Yay, NPH and his boyfriend! They're both so dapper.
Leona Lewis may be wearing a beautiful color, but she still bores me. Snooze.
What was up with Sandy's hair? Messy. Boo.
That's a whole lot of dress there, Anna Kendrick. Unfortunately between the giant ruffle and the lack of color, I'm giving this a thumbs down.
I have to say, I love both the color and cut of Fergie's dress. Too bad she couldn't be bothered to do her hair. (Hi, Josh! Lookin' good!)
I gotta say, I really love Ed O'Neill's tie. It snazzes up the suit.
No one has better red carpet face than George Clooney. He always either looks like he's giving you sexy-eyes, or looks like he's about to throw out the punchline to a joke (see here).
Oh, Sophia. It's a good thing you're awesome and from Europe, or you'd never get away with this.
I never thought anything could take away from Helen Mirren being a hotass, but her date proved me wrong. Red lapels? REALLY?
Oh, Elizabeth Moss looks cute! It's always good to see her out of her Mad Men hairdo.
Yes, Mariah, we know. You have boobs.
Drew Barrymore has barnacles.
Okay, I will preface this by saying two things: I love the color, and also I know it's hard to find dresses (especially fancy ones) when you're a bigger girl. That said, I wish Gabourey Sidibe's dress didn't have those awful sleeves. Wouldn't it have been more attractive in just a sleeveless v-neck style?
RJD looks great. Too bad I can't see more of his wife's dress. I really like her, and I like that she doesn't let him get away with anything. They're cute together.
Sigourney Weaver falls prey to stumpification. She's all torso. No good.
Wow, Taylor Lautner is shiny!
And Sam Jackson is fuzzy!
If you take a quick look at this photo of Jennifer Garner, she looks like Juliette Lewis. Also, the handler managing her dress train makes me laugh. ETA: She desperately needs some Frizz-Eaze or something—her hair is a mess!
I don't know what to say about Kate Hudson here. Something about this reminds me of an ice cream cone. And how do bodices like this work, anyway? How do you not bump into it constantly, or drop food down there when eating?
How is it that Courtney Cox and David Arquette have turned into one of the best-looking couples in Hollywood?
I do not approve of Jaime Pressley's shiny, shiny dress. And what's going on with the sleeves? They're both tiny, but one looks bigger than the other.
At first I thought Woody Harrelson's hat was a really bad Blago/Trump toupee.
Something about Heidi Klum's dress reminds me both of a sea creature and of something Mariah Carey would have worn several years ago.
How is Calista Flockhart so damn skinny? She looks like a lollipop, all tiny body and big head. That dress looks like a bad nightie Blanche Deveraux would have worn.
I do not approve of Julia Roberts' dress, either. Not formal enough! This IS the second-biggest event for the movie industry, Jules. Step it up!
Other than having the shoulders of a linebacker, I kind of like Cameron Diaz's dress.
OMG, the Sev didn't wear something totally kooky. I am simultaneously pleased and disappointed.
And wow, of the three wives on Big Love, I really didn't think the Sev would be my favorite, but after seeing this picture, she just might win. (If Ginnifer's dress were longer, she'd be in the lead.)
In this picture, Tina Fey reminds me of a 1950s-era Mary Poppins as reimagined by Tim Burton. It must be the umbrella and b&w stripes.
While I'm not sure about the slit up the front of Marion Cotillard's dress, I will always give this woman props for her choices in color.
Does Heather Graham know how to pose non-skanky-like?
If Amy Poehler had taken the black belt off her midriff, this would be a win. As it stands: meh. (Hi, Will!)
Wait, these two are still together?
Wow. I looked at this picture and thought "What are Patricia Arquette and Paul Rudd doing together? And what did he do to his hair???" Thank God it's not either of them. Phew.*
Did Zoe Saldana spill something under her left boob, or is that part of her dress?
DAAAAAMN! Christina Hendricks wins the BOOBS OUT award of the night. I kind of like the dress.
I know, I know, she's pregnant, I shouldn't rag on the outfit. But I don't like this trend of short cocktail dresses for the Golden Globes, as Amy Adams has here. It doesn't have a sense of occasion. I also don't like the color of her accessories.
Jessica Lange also falls victim to the curse of the bad sleeves. How much prettier would this have been with just cap sleeves, instead of billowy sleeves that make it look like her forearms are inflating?
I don't know how this looked up close, but from here I really like Toni Collette's dress.
Did anyone else have Peaches & Cream Barbie when they were little? (It was one of four Barbies my sister and I were allowed to own between us when we were little.) Anyway, the colors on Felicity Huffman's dress remind me of that.
Is January Jones wearing a headband? With THAT dress? WOW.
Jenna Fischer's dress does nothing for her. (At least she holds her own umbrella.)
Okay, seriously, Angela Kinsey's dress. Chop it off above the knee, and I have this EXACT thing as a nightie. No fooling.
I hope Mo'Nique is holding up her dress, and it's not actually that length. Because this is a great color and style on her otherwise.
What the EFF is Rita Wilson wearing?
Would it kill Glenn Close to wear a necklace EVER? She always wears a strapless dress like this with tiny earrings and no necklace. The woman needs to learn to accessorize.
Mickey Rourke, you crazy bastard. That's all I have to say.
LOL!!!
Okay, Carey Mulligan is new and all, but I think she's probably my favorite so far tonight. Classy, age-appropriate, cute but not cutesy... I approve.
If this isn't for a role, then William Hurt has gone crazycakes.
*There's something to be said about looking at tiny photos online while making PDFs. It screws with your brain a bit.
I'm only through the red carpet arrivals, people. I'm going to have to continue this later.
Anyway, I did not watch the Globes, so I have no idea what anyone wore. Some outfits may have looked better or worse in motion, I don't know. I'm basing my opinions on the still photos, so there you are.
Can Rose Byrne never look pleased to be anywhere? She's such a downer. Does it hurt to smile, EVER? She always looks so sour, which is a shame because other than her face she looks pretty.
Lauren Graham's dress is very pink, but I'm okay with that. What bothers me more is that no one fixed her earring.
Lisa Edelstein's dress is boobalicious. It's okay, though, except I don't like the blue daisy thing in the middle.
Who is Perrey Reeves, and why did she think this dress was appropriate for the Golden Globes?
Wow, that's a whole lot of dress on Lea Michelle.
Not sure how I feel about Jayma Mays's dress.
Okay, maybe I just don't know tuxedo etiquette, but if Sam Trammel is wearing a tux with a bow tie, shouldn't he have a cummerbund? This looks sloppy.
I don't know who Sarah Hyland is, either, but her dress is boresville. And it almost matches the carpet, which is usually a no-no.
I'm really not up with things, because I don't know who Sophia Vergara is. However, I love her dress.
Lookin' dapper, Chuck. ETA: Whoa! Lay off the fake tan and/or matte foundation, Zack!
Holy moly, that's an unattractive dress on that random lady.
I don't know how I feel about Maggie Gyllenhaal's dress. It's Maggie, though, so I'm just glad she's not wearing a shredded burlap sack.
Oh, Eva La Rue, no.
Julie Bowen is like if Gwynneth Paltrow and Elizabeth Banks were smooshed into one person.
Lara Spencer not only knows how to accessorize, she carries her own umbrella.
I do not like Jillian Michael's outfit. I don't know why, but I don't. ETA: Yes, I do. It looks like wrapping paper we used this past Christmas.
Hello, gorgeous.
Jennifer Morrison has frilly boobies. On further inspection, her dress reminds me of Big Bird if his feathers faded.
Kristen Bell is looking good. I am allowed to withhold judgement till I see the length, though. She's often stumpy.
Is Julianne Moore pregnant, or is that just her dress?
What does Tarantino have on his chest? Is that a turquoise watch chain?
Yay, NPH and his boyfriend! They're both so dapper.
Leona Lewis may be wearing a beautiful color, but she still bores me. Snooze.
What was up with Sandy's hair? Messy. Boo.
That's a whole lot of dress there, Anna Kendrick. Unfortunately between the giant ruffle and the lack of color, I'm giving this a thumbs down.
I have to say, I love both the color and cut of Fergie's dress. Too bad she couldn't be bothered to do her hair. (Hi, Josh! Lookin' good!)
I gotta say, I really love Ed O'Neill's tie. It snazzes up the suit.
No one has better red carpet face than George Clooney. He always either looks like he's giving you sexy-eyes, or looks like he's about to throw out the punchline to a joke (see here).
Oh, Sophia. It's a good thing you're awesome and from Europe, or you'd never get away with this.
I never thought anything could take away from Helen Mirren being a hotass, but her date proved me wrong. Red lapels? REALLY?
Oh, Elizabeth Moss looks cute! It's always good to see her out of her Mad Men hairdo.
Yes, Mariah, we know. You have boobs.
Drew Barrymore has barnacles.
Okay, I will preface this by saying two things: I love the color, and also I know it's hard to find dresses (especially fancy ones) when you're a bigger girl. That said, I wish Gabourey Sidibe's dress didn't have those awful sleeves. Wouldn't it have been more attractive in just a sleeveless v-neck style?
RJD looks great. Too bad I can't see more of his wife's dress. I really like her, and I like that she doesn't let him get away with anything. They're cute together.
Sigourney Weaver falls prey to stumpification. She's all torso. No good.
Wow, Taylor Lautner is shiny!
And Sam Jackson is fuzzy!
If you take a quick look at this photo of Jennifer Garner, she looks like Juliette Lewis. Also, the handler managing her dress train makes me laugh. ETA: She desperately needs some Frizz-Eaze or something—her hair is a mess!
I don't know what to say about Kate Hudson here. Something about this reminds me of an ice cream cone. And how do bodices like this work, anyway? How do you not bump into it constantly, or drop food down there when eating?
How is it that Courtney Cox and David Arquette have turned into one of the best-looking couples in Hollywood?
I do not approve of Jaime Pressley's shiny, shiny dress. And what's going on with the sleeves? They're both tiny, but one looks bigger than the other.
At first I thought Woody Harrelson's hat was a really bad Blago/Trump toupee.
Something about Heidi Klum's dress reminds me both of a sea creature and of something Mariah Carey would have worn several years ago.
How is Calista Flockhart so damn skinny? She looks like a lollipop, all tiny body and big head. That dress looks like a bad nightie Blanche Deveraux would have worn.
I do not approve of Julia Roberts' dress, either. Not formal enough! This IS the second-biggest event for the movie industry, Jules. Step it up!
Other than having the shoulders of a linebacker, I kind of like Cameron Diaz's dress.
OMG, the Sev didn't wear something totally kooky. I am simultaneously pleased and disappointed.
And wow, of the three wives on Big Love, I really didn't think the Sev would be my favorite, but after seeing this picture, she just might win. (If Ginnifer's dress were longer, she'd be in the lead.)
In this picture, Tina Fey reminds me of a 1950s-era Mary Poppins as reimagined by Tim Burton. It must be the umbrella and b&w stripes.
While I'm not sure about the slit up the front of Marion Cotillard's dress, I will always give this woman props for her choices in color.
Does Heather Graham know how to pose non-skanky-like?
If Amy Poehler had taken the black belt off her midriff, this would be a win. As it stands: meh. (Hi, Will!)
Wait, these two are still together?
Wow. I looked at this picture and thought "What are Patricia Arquette and Paul Rudd doing together? And what did he do to his hair???" Thank God it's not either of them. Phew.*
Did Zoe Saldana spill something under her left boob, or is that part of her dress?
DAAAAAMN! Christina Hendricks wins the BOOBS OUT award of the night. I kind of like the dress.
I know, I know, she's pregnant, I shouldn't rag on the outfit. But I don't like this trend of short cocktail dresses for the Golden Globes, as Amy Adams has here. It doesn't have a sense of occasion. I also don't like the color of her accessories.
Jessica Lange also falls victim to the curse of the bad sleeves. How much prettier would this have been with just cap sleeves, instead of billowy sleeves that make it look like her forearms are inflating?
I don't know how this looked up close, but from here I really like Toni Collette's dress.
Did anyone else have Peaches & Cream Barbie when they were little? (It was one of four Barbies my sister and I were allowed to own between us when we were little.) Anyway, the colors on Felicity Huffman's dress remind me of that.
Is January Jones wearing a headband? With THAT dress? WOW.
Jenna Fischer's dress does nothing for her. (At least she holds her own umbrella.)
Okay, seriously, Angela Kinsey's dress. Chop it off above the knee, and I have this EXACT thing as a nightie. No fooling.
I hope Mo'Nique is holding up her dress, and it's not actually that length. Because this is a great color and style on her otherwise.
What the EFF is Rita Wilson wearing?
Would it kill Glenn Close to wear a necklace EVER? She always wears a strapless dress like this with tiny earrings and no necklace. The woman needs to learn to accessorize.
Mickey Rourke, you crazy bastard. That's all I have to say.
LOL!!!
Okay, Carey Mulligan is new and all, but I think she's probably my favorite so far tonight. Classy, age-appropriate, cute but not cutesy... I approve.
If this isn't for a role, then William Hurt has gone crazycakes.
*There's something to be said about looking at tiny photos online while making PDFs. It screws with your brain a bit.
I'm only through the red carpet arrivals, people. I'm going to have to continue this later.
