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Aug. 17th, 2010 01:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eee1313I went to go see The Expendables last night. This was seriously the most entertaining action film I've seen in a long, long time. It was just FUN. The actors looked like they were having fun making the movie. It's like the Ocean's 11 of action films. Some might argue it's the Ocean's 12 of action films, with a bunch of actors making a self-congratulatory film without a coherent plot. That's not entirely wrong, except that it's not so nudge-nudge, wink-wink about how clever and meta it is. The only scene like that is the one where Bruce Willis and Ahnuld make their cameos, and that's over in a minute or two.
Anyway, the actual "plot" of the movie is minimal. Stallone plays Barney, the leader of a group of mercenaries called Expendables. Also on the team are Jason Statham as Lee Christmas (yes, really), Dolph Lundgren as Gunnar, Jet Li as Yin Yang (yes, REALLY), and Randy Couture and Terry Crews as characters who probably had names, but whom I just referred to as Randy Couture and Terry Crews simply because their names are incidental. Mickey Rourke is on hand as the retired Expendable, and he mostly sits around being the slightly insane wise man who also is the world's fastest tattoo artist. Anyway, the team is hired to go to a Central American island nation and kill the evil dictator in charge. Except the evil dictator is being controlled by a rogue CIA agent (Eric Roberts) and his evil bodyguard (no-longer-stone-cold Steve Austin). Once on the island, Sly and Statham (because really, the names don't matter except to laugh at how silly they sound) meet up with a pretty woman who's actually the dictator's daughter.
The job is TOO BIG for the Expendables, so Sly and Statham leave, but the woman won't go with them. Afterwards, Sly feels badly about this, and Mickey Rourke pontificates that saving her is the only thing that will save the last of Sly's humanity. So he goes back for her, and the team (minus Dolph Lundgren, who's turned traitor) go in and blow shit up. And boy howdy, do they blow shit up. They blow up a palace, they blow up stockpiles of cocaine, they blow up armories, they blow up trucks, they blow up cars, they blow up a helicopter. They blow up EVERYTHING. And it's AWESOME. There are also really kickass hand-to-hand combat fights throughout the film.
Basically, if you want to see a movie with laughably bad dialog, a flimsy plot, but a bunch of badass tough guys beating, blowing up, and shooting the everyliving crap out of everything that gets in their way, this is the movie for you. This movie is FUN and STUPID and RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME in its action-y goodness.
For the record, I enjoyed it much more than Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, which is arguably a much better movie. But it's CERTAINLY not as much fun.
Anyway, the actual "plot" of the movie is minimal. Stallone plays Barney, the leader of a group of mercenaries called Expendables. Also on the team are Jason Statham as Lee Christmas (yes, really), Dolph Lundgren as Gunnar, Jet Li as Yin Yang (yes, REALLY), and Randy Couture and Terry Crews as characters who probably had names, but whom I just referred to as Randy Couture and Terry Crews simply because their names are incidental. Mickey Rourke is on hand as the retired Expendable, and he mostly sits around being the slightly insane wise man who also is the world's fastest tattoo artist. Anyway, the team is hired to go to a Central American island nation and kill the evil dictator in charge. Except the evil dictator is being controlled by a rogue CIA agent (Eric Roberts) and his evil bodyguard (no-longer-stone-cold Steve Austin). Once on the island, Sly and Statham (because really, the names don't matter except to laugh at how silly they sound) meet up with a pretty woman who's actually the dictator's daughter.
The job is TOO BIG for the Expendables, so Sly and Statham leave, but the woman won't go with them. Afterwards, Sly feels badly about this, and Mickey Rourke pontificates that saving her is the only thing that will save the last of Sly's humanity. So he goes back for her, and the team (minus Dolph Lundgren, who's turned traitor) go in and blow shit up. And boy howdy, do they blow shit up. They blow up a palace, they blow up stockpiles of cocaine, they blow up armories, they blow up trucks, they blow up cars, they blow up a helicopter. They blow up EVERYTHING. And it's AWESOME. There are also really kickass hand-to-hand combat fights throughout the film.
Basically, if you want to see a movie with laughably bad dialog, a flimsy plot, but a bunch of badass tough guys beating, blowing up, and shooting the everyliving crap out of everything that gets in their way, this is the movie for you. This movie is FUN and STUPID and RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME in its action-y goodness.
For the record, I enjoyed it much more than Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, which is arguably a much better movie. But it's CERTAINLY not as much fun.
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Date: 2010-08-17 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-18 02:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-17 10:44 pm (UTC)I really wish The Muscles from Brussels had signed on for it, too. boo, JCVD. boo!
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Date: 2010-08-18 02:02 pm (UTC)Someone at work asked me why Chuck Norris wasn't in the movie. I don't think Chuck Norris is in the same category as the rest of these guys. Yes, he's an ass-kicker and has arguably had more success than several of these guys. But he's not a big "action star," he's Walker, Texas Ranger. :\
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Date: 2010-08-18 10:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-18 12:21 am (UTC)* I liked Rambo (2008) better.
* Dolph REALLY can't act.
* When Statham and Li double-teamed (hee hee) that guy at the end and broke his neck I actually yelped.
* The "fry and fly" was AMAAAAAAZING.
* Mickey Rourke acted the SHIT out of what he was given. He's a ACTOR, yo!
I love Sly, but I won't watch it again (after the required watch on DVD w/ the captions on). I watch the last Rambo every few months! Political commentary, plot, and blowing shit up!
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Date: 2010-08-18 02:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-18 02:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-19 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-18 02:00 pm (UTC)I've never seen it. Then again, I don't remember ever seeing ANY Rambo movie all the way through, so I should probably remedy that.
When Statham and Li double-teamed (hee hee) that guy at the end and broke his neck I actually yelped.
That was AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!!!
Mickey Rourke acted the SHIT out of what he was given. He's a ACTOR, yo!
Yes, he is. At first I thought he was kind of rambling because he couldn't remember his lines and was just kind of ad-libbing through it. And then I was like "If this is his 'method,' it totally works for this character." Also, were Tool and Barney supposed to be actual brothers, or did Tool just call Barney "brother" in an affectionate "we've been through hell together, so you're my bro" kind of way?
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Date: 2010-08-19 01:05 am (UTC)I don't think Tool and Barney were ACTUAL brothers -- more like they became brothers through their experiences.
Honest to fuck, though, there were several times where I leaned over to the King and had to say, "Okay, srsly, are they going to kiss or what?" I loved Bruce Willis' "You gonna suck each other's cocks or what?" line -- just the delivery and accent he put on it was so hilarious to me.